Jettisms

Some of my fav's (age 4)

• (Responding to me telling me him a toy he was playing with was given to him at his last birthday.): No momma, if it was my last birthday I'd be almost dying.
• Church is a place you go when you are going on a trip and you need to buy luggage. Or clothes. [interlocks hands... here's the church, here's the steeple..]
• Gas is when dust that's stinky comes out of your body.
• (said when fighting taking a nap) I wish I were nocturnal & diurnal so sleep would only be a sometimes treat.
•  (To grandma) I know what happens when a baby is ready to come out of a mommy's tummy... The mommy goes to the Dr. and the Dr. pulls the baby out of the mommy's vagina.
• Mommy, you break a lot of dishes. That's not good dish manners.
• Mommy, when will you have a baby in your tummy. Its easy, all you have to do is find someone who's not married and is a boy.

Some older fav's (age 3)

• When I was asleep in mommy's tummy, I saw creepy things: toys, branches and food and legos and books to read and I even saw someone looking at me. And they said 'how do you feel'. That was a dog. And he was only a stuffed dog. And he sings.
• (after jumping into the swimming pool unexpectedly at swim lessons) I would not have run out of bubbles...If I needed more bubbles I would have gotten more at the bubble station
• (after noticing some chew marks on his toilet seat lid and blaming it on the dogs) Maybe they were hungry for a little toilet chewing"
• Jesse : No jumping on the bed Jett!
  Jett: Only monkeys jump on the bed?
  Jesse: That's right.  And you're not a monkey.  No jumping.
  Jett: But I'm brown like a monkey.
  Jesse:  No, you're not, and you don't have a tail like a monkey
  Jett: Yes I do.
  Jesse: No you don't.
  Jett: YES I DO!  (and then points at his penis). 
• (While sitting on the potty) Poop is when its you bladder and then your body and then , you toot and the breeze comes.  
• (Said out loud at Starbucks, crawling on a bench on all fours)  I'm a pig. I have a really big pig penis!"
• (After seeing mommy drink ice tea out of a big bottle) Mommy, you like your wine?

(age 2 - also known as his "fascination with genitalia phase")

• (Announced at a restaurant) I have a big penis! I have a big penis!
• My killer whale only likes to eat the fish who don't have names 
• (Out loud at the SD Zoo for Mother's Day by the Monkey enclosure.  One of the monkey's had is you-know-what sticking out.) That monkey has a penis!
• Don't lay on me mommy. I'm not a pillow. I'm Jett Brenner Mellon.
• (Referring to point out freckles on his nose) Nose has doticles
• (Looking at a picture of a dinosaur) Dinosaur have green penipez.
• Chloe have a penipez? Chloe have a big penipez? Chloe have a little penipez?
• Mommy have penipez?
• (In response to mommy saying 'there is no need to cry about it') I need to cry about it.
• I not a big boy. I a little boy.
• Guwls have boobies. Boys penipez.
• "Jett, who did you bite?" I bite Liam. "What do we do when we get mad at our friends?" Eat crackers (We had been teaching him that "Teeth are for crackers, not biting."
• One more Happy Birthday song presents!
• Daddy's name is Jesse. Mommy's name is Honey.
• Sunshine hot... blow on it.
• (To his teacher) Scuse me...where baf-room?
•  (In reference to daddy's sole patch) Daddy soul patch beard